CELEBRITY PROBLEMS (PART I)

“Chin up Jessi, girl! You got this”

My stomach wretches. Maria001 should know better. This is our fourth mentoring call and she has yet to call me by my gen-code on a live. It’s pretty standard practice. Like, even randos addressing one another on the street have enough decency to mention it when they’re streaming. 

How are users going to find my feeds if she doesn’t mention my fucking gen-code?

“Well, I don’t think it helps being a 128,” I say, making sure to emphasize the numbers so I can still squeeze some small shred of promotion into the hour. “The Jessica-Brandon gen-year was immense. The biggest at least since before the Simon-Victorias. I don’t even know the last time we saw such a massive population dump.”

“And that’s an angle,” Maria001 says before I can finish. “So few Jessica-Brandons placed in Sector 1, but you did. Find a way to use that to your advantage!”

Of course that’s what Maria001 would say. “Maria, Meant to be 001,” was her profile tagline for a full catalog year — a brand identity that gave her immediate success. It didn’t hurt either that she placed directly into 1A. That means the Childhood Development Unit designed her to be successful. She has no idea what it’s like to be part of the Jessica-Brandon mob.

There are only seven Jessica’s with a higher gen-code than me, and only one managed a placement in Sector 1, out in Junction P. And where does the 128th Jessica get placed? 1H, just outside of the Scales. It took me forever to earn my way into 1G.

But I belong in 1A.

I know it. And why would the Bots program me to think this way if it wasn’t true?

“You’re right, of course,” I say, knowing Maria001’s fans will flay me for too strong a disagreement, “but branding alone doesn’t seem to be enough. I’ve snagged only two Scalers for en-gen, and the only SkyCorp sponsorship offers I’ve gotten have been for a pair of tube socks. Made of Quantex. Not even a holo-product!”

My left leg cramps, and I shift in my seat. Most days, I wake up before the skyshield starts projecting sunrise for a morning energy generating session, but I should know better than to schedule before these calls. Wasn’t even a worthwhile fuck, just some nobody in 1J willing to collab. And now, my legs are stiff and I can tell I’m squirming. 

“I put out six daily episodes,” I say, trying to keep myself still and presentable, “run 24/7 cams, and fuck at least 20 partners a week for multiple rounds of en-gen. I’ve been generating enough energy to max out all my quotas since leaving the CDU. That got me into G, but I’ve been stuck ever since.” 

I stop suddenly, worried about getting too whiney. Users don’t like that. Nor would they appreciate me complaining about my 1G skypartment being too small, with too few mods, and positioned in the G Junction closest to Sector 2. I’m supposed to be grateful for the upgrade.

On the other side of the screen, Maria001 cackles. 

“Girly pop, that is not how you land a good fuck!” A torrent of hearts rises from the bottom edge. Her fans are eating this up. 

“I don’t get it,” I reply, now shifting more nervously. “I thought my first priority should be en-gen.”

Maria puffs a final laugh through her nose before adding, “Bot’s alive! I keep saying CDU programming needs more practical application. Listen, hun, en-gen with any old Tom-Dick-Harry555 isn’t gonna cut it.” She leans close to the screen, cupping her mouth as if sharing a secret. Her breasts hover front and center, suspiciously close to tumbling out of the top of her low-cut jumpsuit projecting a fuzz-trimmed holo-garment. She whispers, “Fucking for en-gen alone is a wasted opportunity.”

A wave of fire emojis lights up the bottom of the screen.

“How do you figure?” In our first few mentorship calls, I was nervous to ask questions. But at the cost each one is running me, I really need to start gleaning useful information. 

“Well, imagine if instead, you had been fucking strategically.” Maria’s eyes twitch across her visual screen to activate a display, which appears to her right as a series of charts and high-performing post examples. It’s her SkyWeb dashboard. 

Of course, she’s implemented several security measures to keep users from viewing everything. This is a live feed, for Bot’s sake. Still, it was hard not to notice how the flats and dips in her performance bar have grown longer as the catalog years push her toward Retirement.

I vaguely hear her droning on about the pressure of placing into a 1A Celebrity task, about being from one of the oldest gen-years in a junction of high-performing fuckers who always seem to prefer newbs. Unlike my whiney monologue, he’s peppered hers with motivational messages to keep it aspirational. 

But really, how hard could it be to keep your numbers high with those natural advantages?

“And I think you know better than anyone,” she says with a sharpness that breaks through my thoughts, “no Scale Celebrity wants to end up in the Soup.” 

The Soup

I try to hold back a grimace at the word. I’ve heard it so many times before, but never in a way that meant anything good. 

The “Alphabet Soup” includes any junction not within the Scale Junctions A through G. Supposedly those letters have something to do with how the Bots make music. Feeds from the Scales in any Sector are automatically more popular. But the Celebrities in the Sector 1 Scales have the most watched feeds in SkyCity. 

The Soup is everything else. Maria makes a joke about how no one pays good tokens to watch Soup slop, no matter how worthwhile it may be. I laugh, but I don’t find it funny. Alphabet soup is also one of the few food items the Bots make available for token purchase in outer sector catalogs. 

By now, Maria has moved on to describe her newest SkyWeb success: cosplaying as an unfucker from the outer sectors who generates love energy for her first time. That series has held a position in the Tops for the past two catalogs. It also got her into one of the largest and most modded-out skypartment units in SkyCity.  

Meanwhile, I’m about to lose my unfucked 1G skypartment to some newb from the Lisa generation. Why her? Because she got an exclusive new-tech sponsorship right out of the CDU. Some skin-surfer-cam that captures extreme close-ups. Her first series was nominated for three Tops positions, and the current 1A Tops have been refeeding her most viral episodes. 

But without those advantages, I bet she’s nothing special. She’s probably a mother-loving, ground-level, uncompostable, dirt-eater. Except for unfuckers, I can’t think of anything worse.

“Jessi-girl, you look distracted. Do we need to end today’s session early?” 

That gets my attention. I hear the threat louder than her words. When I finally focus back on her, I see it in her eyes. 

Shit, I think. What was she saying?

I glance at the script she sent to me yesterday hoping to salvage the time we still have left. Not only do I risk blowing this live with one of 1A’s most recognized Tops, but our contract allows Maria to cancel the mentorship at any time for pretty much any cause.

“Risks,” I say abruptly. “I was just thinking about your perspective on risks. Your unfucker thing was a risk, but it worked out well for you. Still, Remember Rich081? He ran a 24/7 bathroom cam and it was a major flop. I mean, some places are dead zones for a reason, right?”

Maria001’s lips purse, hitching ever so slightly up and to the right. I can tell she’s not falling for whatever it was that I just threw at her. She’s gonna end the session. UNFUCKING GROUNDDAMNNIT!

“Well, that sounds like a great topic for another session. But it seems like we’ve hit a wall for today. Now, Jess, I’d love for you to start working on a unique positioning. If you see yourself in 1C, you need to start branding yourself that way. We’ll come back to this once you’re more prepared.” 

Ouch. 

Maria001 goes on to thank her audience for listening and, of course, fails to consider my audience worth mentioning. After a few plugs for her weekly episodes, she signs off with her newest tagline: “And this is how Maria001 gets it done.” And cut. Another hour of tokens spent with nothing to show for it.  

Only, the call doesn’t end.

Instead of staring at a blank screen, I find myself face to face with Maria001 — no feeds, smiles off, script be damned.

“Look, I don’t care if you’re having a hard time,” she spits, “we have a contract. One full hour, I control the conversation, you follow along. Your unfucked bullshit on my feeds is becoming my problem.”

“I’m sorry, you’re right,” I say, and I feel my face starting to flood with emotion. I bite the inside of my cheek to hold it back. 

“Did you read the script? Are you even here to learn from me? I mean, Bot damn it, why are you wasting good tokens on this if you’re not even gonna put in an effort?”

“Look, I’m on the edge of a knife here. My skypartment has been outbid. I either move up by the end of the month, or I won’t have a place in the Scales. That comment about the Soup, it really hit me. I’m not sure if you know, but I’m from there. And I can’t go back.”

To my surprise, the annoyance in Maria001’s face slips away. Understanding seems to wash over her. I wonder if she might be realizing her privilege or that she was being insensitive to someone who actually had to struggle. The thought makes me feel brave enough to go on.

“That’s why I’m here. I subbed for your mentorship because you’re the comeback Queen in 1A. Topped multiple categories for nearly ten catalogs straight outta the CDU. Now, you’re back, outshining even the Vanessa, Kelly and Lisa generations that followed you.” I know better than to mention myself, or that the Jessica dump was the start of Maria001’s temporary dethroning.  

“I know your success took more than just good branding,” I say, cheeks flushing. My stomach is in knots, but I need answers. “I get that you want some mystery for the live feed, but I’m asking you, no begging you, here, off-feed — Can’t you give me something I can use? What do I need to do to get users to pay tokens to watch?” 

Maria001’s eyes glaze over, but not to focus on her VIZ-screen. She looks past me. For a moment, her face slips into an emotion. Maybe shame or sadness; the kind of thing you only see on an NPC in HD virtual reality. Her answer, when she finally gives it, is cryptic. I’m still not even sure I understand what it means. 

She says: “Getting users to pay tokens is easy. But it won’t help you Top the Charts; it won’t even let you into 1A. For that, you need to tap into what users crave. It starts by giving them everything they want from you so they can uncover the part you most fear letting them have. When you discover how to monetize that, you’ll find you’ve unlocked the most valuable en-gen, the kind that keeps you in the Scales — the kind you can’t generate on feeds.” 

I stare, dumbfounded by her reply. Valuable en-gen off-feeds? Sure, fucking brings in tokens on its own, but it’s also the easiest way to draw users. No Celebrity would ever be able to sustain a Sector 1 skypartment without users paying to watch their feeds. 

But apparently, I think, mulling over Maria’s words, it takes more. Much, much more.

Maria’s face flushes as her eyes focus back on mine. She stammers, “Anyway, just find an angle and run with it. And don’t go off script again if you expect me to uphold our contract.”

An “end call” notification blips from my wall speaker. The embedded wallscreen goes blank. I look at my watch. Twelve minutes shy of a full hour. And what do I have to show for it?

“The most valuable en-gen is the kind you can’t generate on feeds.”

I need to decode her message.

What can’t we generate on-feed? What are we told not to do? Love energy is the most effective en-gen, pays the most tokens and, on its own, makes good fodder for feeds. But all en-gen is encouraged, everywhere, with anyone, and for however long as possible without injury. A traitorous Skycitizen is one who generates less energy than they’re capable of supplying.

But the trick is quality en-gen, and that requires emotion. The more extreme, the higher the output, which can lead to some crazy shit. In Sector 4, a quartet-collab involves generating love energy inside an acro-obstacle-battlecage. It’s earned them Tops categories for the past six catalog years, which is a recent record for the Activities Sectors. 

You see, I study this stuff. I’ve done my research. Scalers do some pretty outrageous things for views — weird insertions and mutilations; sometimes using their real bodies, not even holograms. As long as it doesn’t leave anyone dead or irreparable, there is no en-gen that wouldn’t be worthwhile to also show on a SkyWeb feed.

It must be something truly awful. Illicit. Evil. 

A notification pings in my VIZ-screen: Lisa010 has just pinned a new live to her feeds. Of course, she did. I pull up her profile. The skyshield is barely giving daylight and she’s already got five morning episodes posted with highlights. 

I click on the most recent. It’s her big, stupid, mother-looking head, jabbering on about some more good news no doubt. She’s walking into some building. I can’t tell where yet. Maybe this is a sponsorship? No, I think it’s a collab. Wait, is that… ? That’s not… Unfucking ground-level son! Is she getting a guest spot in the Sector 2 Hospital Feeds?!

My jaw goes so tight I hear my teeth grind. 

The Hospital Feeds are a surefire way to the Tops, but normally, only Skycitizens who leave the CDU as Nurses ever get the chance to find out. Those lucky hundred will live and work together in SkyCity Hospital, a mass of buildings that span two Sector 2 junctions. 

In theory, Nurses assist the MrktDocs in SkyCity’s matters of life or death. In practice, they focus mostly on love energy triangles and drama. With six series’ and several spinoff channels compiling the most backstabbing, edge-of-your-seat clips from 24/7 user feeds, the Hospitals offer guaranteed SkyCity-wide viewership. After only a handful of catalog years, most Nurses earn more than enough to live out the rest of their lives in 1A. Still, many stay in the Hospitals their entire careers.

And now Lisa010 is about to join them. I hear her grating voice go on to describe how she heard about the opportunity, something about volunteer work as an en-gen coach for unfuckers in Sector 5. They sound kind of like my mentoring sessions, but focused on helping unfuckers generate energy, and with a guarantee that they’ll be kept off-feed for privacy. A Nurse in the same program witnessed one of Lisa’s sessions and decided she’d be perfect for the Hospital guest spot. 

Volunteering? Anger floods my face; pulses through my veins. I didn’t even know that was possible! My head is spinning and my heart pounds in my chest. Not only is she going to take my skypartment, she’ll be placing out of it in a week. Even if I do move up before then, I’ll still be trying to outrun her ability to displace me. That unfucked, dirt-clutching, sister-witch!

Just then, Maria001’s words dance through my head, this time, with greater clarity: I am the love energy I generate. Strip that away and what’s left is anger – that which I most fear letting users have. But my anger is what they deserve. An en-gen that can’t be generated on-feed. Monetized evil. The most valuable. The words whirl into a tornado, funneling deeper into my heart, burning with rage. 

Suddenly, I have an idea.

I pull up Lisa010’s SkyWeb profile in my VIZ-screen. According to her schedule, her next volunteer shift is on Thursday. Three days before her move into my skypartment. She would be cocky enough to overschedule like that, I think. Ever the unfucking victim.

I open a message screen, take a deep breath, and as I think out the message to write, the words appear across my vision: 

“Dear Lisa010,

We haven’t met yet, but I follow all your channels. In a recent clip, you mentioned en-gen coaching in Sector 5. I’d love to learn more about volunteering. Do you think I could tag along on your next session? I’m not asking for a collab, and I’m fine if the whole affair stays off-feed. I just genuinely want to help. Seeing as you’ll soon be taking over my skypartment soon, I thought you might be open to the idea.”

After sending, I repost the message as a live comm for my feeds, and the trap is set. I know she’ll have to reply. This is drama, and users want it. Lisa010 may not fall for a guilt-trip, but she’ll absolutely want to avoid a public confrontation that could result in downvotes.

Then, I hear a ping. Lisa010 has replied: “I would love to help ♥️” 

Such a dirty word, “help.” And she knows what she’s doing by using it. She thinks I’m pathetic. Weak. That this will be a chance for her to use me. To embarrass me without lifting a finger and, by default, stand in an even better light. 

Her message says to meet her at the Sector 1M crossing. From there, we’ll take the express skypath to her sub in 5M. They say out there, no one gets assigned to a skypartment. Instead, they’re given access to all the empty skypartments and can pick the one they like best. That is, if they have the brains to figure out what they like. I hear the ones who place out there are pretty much science experiments. 

Sector 5 — the perfect place to tap into the most valuable off-feed en-gen. The part of me that I most fear users will find. The en-gen that will drag Lisa010 down into the evil she deserves. I finally understand what Maria001 was trying to tell me. Maybe she’s done the same thing before. Maybe that’s how she’s stayed in Tops for so long. 

Out in Sector 5, no feeds, and only a handful of brain-dead Skycitizens. That’s where I’ll kill Lisa010.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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