Congrats! You Got Everything You Wanted. Now What?
Let’s say one of my short stories goes viral. Millions of people read it. An agent or publishing house sees it and reaches out. They want me to turn it into a novel. They’re already talking about its potential as a series on Apple TV.
What then?
For so long, I’ve taken jobs to get by in the hopes that I could eventually elevate one of my creative side gigs into a thriving career. To make art, I was a waitress, barback and bartender. When I tried custom dressmaking, I took a job in design and product development. While teaching English in Costa Rica, I started writing I AM TAMRA. Freelance ghostwriting landed me a cushy job writing corporate fluff pieces, but even then, I was still seeking to make creative work my primary source of income.
But, if that suddenly happened tomorrow, I often think to myself, would I be ready for it? The fame? The wealth? The courage to be the kind of person my future readers will expect me to be? If my answer is no, then I need a plan to get there.
Would I be ready for fame?
When I was little, my sister was incredibly shy and would get agitated when people, even family, would press her to communicate. So, I took it upon myself to “save her” from that discomfort. I became a jester — making jokes, being loud, and drawing attention away from her and onto me.
But it was all a show. I hated the attention as much as she did; was as shy and agitated when pressed to communicate as she was. But I dealt with it because I found it unfair that adults would force her to deal with it. I thought I was protecting her, though it probably came across as egotistical: I can handle this, you can’t.
When we became adults, I felt free to finally drop the act. But I took it to the extreme: closing myself off and trying to disappear. This kept me off social media; kept me from taking risks. I saw visibility and condemnation as inseparable and, even if most attention was positive, feared I wouldn’t be able to endure the negatives.
So, what do I do?
In MY NAME IS GRACE000, Grace leaves isolation into a world where being seen and judged is a part of survival. But unlike SkyWorld, mistakes won’t inevitably end my career. As long as I own them, apologize when appropriate, hold consistent values, and change when presented with new evidence, there will be just as many people (if not more) hoping to see me succeed. With practice, "I was seen and I survived" becomes "I was seen and people appreciated it," which finally yields to, "I can handle being seen."
Would I be ready for wealth?
In 2012, I earned two degrees: one in political science and another in Latin American studies. In the process, I learned about economic colonialism and the dark history of the U.S. government holding up brutal dictators to maintain the status quo. Genocides. Disappearances. Displacement. All in the name of power.
So I ran away. I fled my country and its greed, renounced capitalism, and set out to prove I could live outside the system. I volunteered to support indigenous arts, taught English in rural villages, and lived in an off-grid reforestation community. I existed with little to no money and only a backpack of belongings to my name for over 10 years.
Now taking money feels dirty. Being wealthy feels wrong. Having more than I need and paying taxes into a system I disagree with would go against everything I purported to believe in. For 10 years, not being motivated by money became my identity. Now that I want to earn money for my creative writing, that identity has become a prison.
So, what do I do?
When the Corporate Governors elevated Skyworld, they chose who deserved to be saved based on economic viability. Wealth became a measure of human worth. That future isn’t inevitable, but changing it depends on action. I thought rejecting capitalism made me a better person, but I was still letting money decide my future, only one where I had none. Now, I have to remember that, without financial resources, maybe my book reaches a few thousand people. With more, I can hire professionals to get my book in front of millions, and I can have more influence over the conversations I care about.
Would I be ready to be courageous?
The world today can seem like a nightmare. Wars. Poverty. People being exploited, disenfranchised, and physically harmed, all to hold up systems I disagree with. But once I have a platform big enough, will I be able to speak out against these systems with the strength and courage I need to make a legitimate difference?
My first home in Chapel Hill was on a compound run by Bibb Latané, the social psychologist who helped define the bystander effect following the 1964 public stabbing of Kitty Genovese in New York City. Dozens of neighbors witnessed the attack, failed to stop it or call the police, and watched her die. According to the theory, everyone assumed someone else would step in.
Since learning about the bystander effect, I've wondered what I would do if I found myself in that position. It's easy to imagine yourself as the person who would speak up, but speaking up comes with consequences. I don't want to be someone who looks away because it's safer than criticism, conflict, or losing opportunities. But if I ever have a platform, will I use it in a way that I can still respect when I look back ten years later?
So, what do I do?
In My Name Is Grace000, Grace spends her entire life terrified. The Bots have given her every reason to believe that beyond the walls of her prison, the world is dangerous. And yet, she runs anyway because remaining trapped is more frightening than the unknown. Her courage is deciding there's something more important than protecting herself from fear. I can’t hope to live a life where I'm never afraid, but I can make an effort to keep fear from preventing me from doing what’s right, one brave act at a time.
The real question
I don’t know if I’d be ready for everything I wanted to arrive tomorrow, but I do know I wouldn't be able to wait until I felt fearless to take that opportunity. Few people are really ready to step into the life they aspire to achieve, but when the opportunity knocks on their door, it reveals whether or not they are willing to become that person. Success may come with the freedom to act according to our values, but it can also give us new ways to compromise them.
Instead of wondering if I’m ready to get everything I want, maybe the question is, "Will I stay true to myself when the world gives me the power to act on what I say I believe?" Maybe promoting myself, my writing and the themes I explore is, in its own way, my first real attempt to break out of my fears of being perceived, of being complicit, and being a coward. And every time I choose honesty over comfort, even when the stakes are small, I prepare myself to do the right thing when my choices come with greater consequences.
